When exactly was the last time I saw you Scud? Was
it right after we watched Kapeng Barako Club or did I get to see you even for a
short while after you got sick? I can only remember thinking – why on earth
were you outside???? Weren't you supposed to be confined or something???? So I
sent you a message on facebook asking you kumusta?
and that it’s great to see you out. You replied you're doing good then but
that you’d be in the hospital again in a few days.
I forgot to insist that you wear a bubble suit like
the main character in the movie Bubble
Boy, since you had to be extra careful with your rather puzzling condition.
It was as if you’d be fine in no time, given that you were always on the go. At
the first night of your wake surrounded by your friends, I felt like you were
just around since we were talking animatedly about the things you would have
been interested in.
Meanwhile, your coffin was closed just as you
requested it. It is so typical of you, not to draw too much attention to
yourself. You'd rather passionately talk about your advocacies rather than be
the receiving end of all the concern your friends have for you or the praise
that people would shower you.
But allow us to remember you, Scud, this person we
have been with, since your life is closely entwined with what you'd rather
focus on, and thus yours is a story that needs to be told.
I still vividly recall years ago how we met in my
time at the Office of Student Affairs. Upon receiving an invitation to an Asian
forum for young leaders in such a short notice, I was tasked to immediately
seek and interview students who would be interested to join, preferably those
who had yet to experience attending such events. After posting a notice on
social media, someone gave me a buzz – it was Arcci, telling me both of you
were interested to join. Communicating by email, we set a schedule wherein I could
do a short interview with the two of you before we recommend your names to the
forum.
You used to cringe when I teased you about your
interview then. During the interviews, Arcci was candid, eloquent and a
pleasure to talk with about her reasons for joining during her interview. Then
it was your turn to be interviewed. You didn’t need to fret, Scud, since I
appreciated how you wanted to make up for the time you sort of wasted before going to college. The fact that
you were once an avid video gamer before did not hurt your chances to
qualify for the forum. =) Later, you would admit that you were extremely nervous
since it was the first time you tried joining a leadership seminar.
Eventually, I recommended both of you to the forum
and sent your names and contacts to the organizers so that they can communicate
with you. After some time, I excitedly asked whether they communicated you on
the preparations you need to make for the forum. Alas, you and Arcci sadly told
me that the forum wasn't pushing through.
“Awww,” I said pouting, “well, meron pa naman ibang
opportunities na dumadating dito sa amin.” I promised that I would notify you
the soonest possible if we see another invitation you guys may be able to join
around this time. I also mentioned that we have our own leadership program -
you and Arcci could probably join or volunteer if you really wanted to get the
best out of your time in college. Bot of you became excited about the opportunities that
could still come and asked about the activities we had in store.
Later, more countless opportunities would knock at
your door once more and would lead you to become what we would jokingly but
truthfully call you as a pride of Bicol (just had to put that in, Scud, no
matter how much you deny it). =)
Those other opportunities I "promised" you also included volunteer works for our leadership seminar workshops. Back then, I had needed staff facilitators for the Summer A-WILL and you and Arcci were very much willing to devote some time for the five day live-in seminar workshop. You even volunteered to do the printing of the shirts!
However, you had activities in church and school before and right after the workshop. With the seminar dates approaching, I was apprehensive whether you could really make it and thought you might want to rest, so I kept on asking whether you’d be sure to arrive. But true to your word, you and Arcci came just when the workshop began. Despite being late, God knows my relief since I needed all the extra hands we could get to run the event. When AWILL ended, you rushed to your next commitment without hesitation (and probably without much rest either).
You were always on the go, Scud. Maybe we had to
remind you of your eyebags just so you can take a break. Graduation was also approaching fast and you had
more and more work. You and Arcci could hardly drop by at the office anymore
but still promised to help out if you can.
Your prospects to make it as entrepreneurs
back then did not come easy either. While it looked fun and fulfilling managing
an enterprise, many times you constantly faced challenges. One time, you and
Arcci showed us a prototype of a mustard yellow backpack you've been developing
as your Income Generating Project. You were also wearing the same type of bag yourself. Made of
native materials, you guys gushed about where you got the fabrics, the nanays
in the community you've partnered with to make them, how it was made, as well
as constantly mentioning someone named Erwin. You made me promise to buy a bag
once it was ready for the market; I happen to be fond of native bags and was
looking for a native backpack. We could readily believe that your proposals would be easily accepted, given your enthusiasm and noble desire to help the nanays.
But it wasn’t and there were also many reasons to be discouraged. There were
days when you would drop by and just gave a huge sigh when asked how things
were going on with your IGP. You would just smile and say “kakayanin namin!”
for the nanays and I think that essentially made you tough and ready for
anything that could come your way, may it be in social entrepreneurship or your
life back and forth Manila-Bicol. The real world didn’t come after
graduation; the real world was right there, in the community which you sought
to help. It was not just a grade to complete; there was a need you couldn’t
refuse and a mission to heed.
Most millennials would have the crisis of not being
certain what to do next after graduation. I met up with you and Arcci for coffee
one time and asked about your plans when your schedules finally allowed. You had a clear vision in mind – work for
two years in the corporate world to gain experience but eventually come back to
Bicol. There was no question about it – you wanted to serve Bicol and give back
to the place that you called home. But even before those two years happened, you
still went back to Bicol almost every weekend. I guess you wouldn’t want to
wait to be where your heart has truly been in the first place. Now, you have
gone to the ultimate place you’ve really been preparing for – that place where our
Lord awaits us all.
We are trying to come into terms that you’re not
here with us anymore, Scud. But you have always placed your life in the hands
of God – so we will still follow your lead and trust that you are finally with
Him.
I can hardly imagine what your parents feel – no
words can express how deeply I feel for them. I can only say how eternally grateful
I am to your family for sharing their dear son and brother to us, for raising
such a person who would touch countless lives, mine included. We are one with them in praying to our Lord to embrace you now that you have come home.
Thank you for being such an inspiration not only to
our student but also to me, for the effort, help, even the Hillsong videos you gave me. Rest well, Mr. Kengkoy Scud, and leave the rest to
us in peace this time.