We should have put you in a bubble

When exactly was the last time I saw you Scud? Was it right after we watched Kapeng Barako Club or did I get to see you even for a short while after you got sick? I can only remember thinking – why on earth were you outside???? Weren't you supposed to be confined or something???? So I sent you a message on facebook asking you kumusta? and that it’s great to see you out. You replied you're doing good then but that you’d be in the hospital again in a few days.

I forgot to insist that you wear a bubble suit like the main character in the movie Bubble Boy, since you had to be extra careful with your rather puzzling condition. It was as if you’d be fine in no time, given that you were always on the go. At the first night of your wake surrounded by your friends, I felt like you were just around since we were talking animatedly about the things you would have been interested in.

Meanwhile, your coffin was closed just as you requested it. It is so typical of you, not to draw too much attention to yourself. You'd rather passionately talk about your advocacies rather than be the receiving end of all the concern your friends have for you or the praise that people would shower you.

But allow us to remember you, Scud, this person we have been with, since your life is closely entwined with what you'd rather focus on, and thus yours is a story that needs to be told.

I still vividly recall years ago how we met in my time at the Office of Student Affairs. Upon receiving an invitation to an Asian forum for young leaders in such a short notice, I was tasked to immediately seek and interview students who would be interested to join, preferably those who had yet to experience attending such events. After posting a notice on social media, someone gave me a buzz – it was Arcci, telling me both of you were interested to join. Communicating by email, we set a schedule wherein I could do a short interview with the two of you before we recommend your names to the forum.

You used to cringe when I teased you about your interview then. During the interviews, Arcci was candid, eloquent and a pleasure to talk with about her reasons for joining during her interview. Then it was your turn to be interviewed. You didn’t need to fret, Scud, since I appreciated how you wanted to make up for the time you sort of wasted before going to college. The fact that you were once an avid video gamer before did not hurt your chances to qualify for the forum. =) Later, you would admit that you were extremely nervous since it was the first time you tried joining a leadership seminar.  

Eventually, I recommended both of you to the forum and sent your names and contacts to the organizers so that they can communicate with you. After some time, I excitedly asked whether they communicated you on the preparations you need to make for the forum. Alas, you and Arcci sadly told me that the forum wasn't pushing through.

“Awww,” I said pouting, “well, meron pa naman ibang opportunities na dumadating dito sa amin.” I promised that I would notify you the soonest possible if we see another invitation you guys may be able to join around this time. I also mentioned that we have our own leadership program - you and Arcci could probably join or volunteer if you really wanted to get the best out of your time in college. Bot of you became excited about the opportunities that could still come and asked about the activities we had in store.

Later, more countless opportunities would knock at your door once more and would lead you to become what we would jokingly but truthfully call you as a pride of Bicol (just had to put that in, Scud, no matter how much you deny it). =)

Those other opportunities I "promised" you also included volunteer works for our leadership seminar workshops. Back then, I had needed staff facilitators for the Summer A-WILL and you and Arcci were very much willing to devote some time for the five day live-in seminar workshop. You even volunteered to do the printing of the shirts! 

However, you had activities in church and school before and right after the workshop. With the seminar dates approaching, I was apprehensive whether you could really make it and thought you might want to rest, so I kept on asking whether you’d be sure to arrive. But true to your word, you and Arcci came just when the workshop began. Despite being late, God knows my relief since I needed all the extra hands we could get to run the event. When AWILL ended, you rushed to your next commitment without hesitation (and probably without much rest either).

You were always on the go, Scud. Maybe we had to remind you of your eyebags just so you can take a break. Graduation was also approaching fast and you had more and more work. You and Arcci could hardly drop by at the office anymore but still promised to help out if you can.

Your prospects to make it as entrepreneurs back then did not come easy either. While it looked fun and fulfilling managing an enterprise, many times you constantly faced challenges. One time, you and Arcci showed us a prototype of a mustard yellow backpack you've been developing as your Income Generating Project. You were also wearing the same type of bag yourself. Made of native materials, you guys gushed about where you got the fabrics, the nanays in the community you've partnered with to make them, how it was made, as well as constantly mentioning someone named Erwin. You made me promise to buy a bag once it was ready for the market; I happen to be fond of native bags and was looking for a native backpack. We could readily believe that your proposals would be easily accepted, given your enthusiasm and noble desire to help the nanays. But it wasn’t and there were also many reasons to be discouraged. There were days when you would drop by and just gave a huge sigh when asked how things were going on with your IGP. You would just smile and say “kakayanin namin!” for the nanays and I think that essentially made you tough and ready for anything that could come your way, may it be in social entrepreneurship or your life back and forth Manila-Bicol. The real world didn’t come after graduation; the real world was right there, in the community which you sought to help. It was not just a grade to complete; there was a need you couldn’t refuse and a mission to heed.

Most millennials would have the crisis of not being certain what to do next after graduation. I met up with you and Arcci for coffee one time and asked about your plans when your schedules finally allowed. You had a clear vision in mind – work for two years in the corporate world to gain experience but eventually come back to Bicol. There was no question about it – you wanted to serve Bicol and give back to the place that you called home. But even before those two years happened, you still went back to Bicol almost every weekend. I guess you wouldn’t want to wait to be where your heart has truly been in the first place. Now, you have gone to the ultimate place you’ve really been preparing for – that place where our Lord awaits us all.

We are trying to come into terms that you’re not here with us anymore, Scud. But you have always placed your life in the hands of God – so we will still follow your lead and trust that you are finally with Him.

I can hardly imagine what your parents feel – no words can express how deeply I feel for them. I can only say how eternally grateful I am to your family for sharing their dear son and brother to us, for raising such a person who would touch countless lives, mine included. We are one with them in praying to our Lord to embrace you now that you have come home.

Thank you for being such an inspiration not only to our student but also to me, for the effort, help, even the Hillsong videos you gave me. Rest well, Mr. Kengkoy Scud, and leave the rest to us in peace this time.